I loved Chase with all my heart, and loved everything about him, but as a mother I wanted to take away any potential hardship and frustration that Trisomy 21 could cause him. I wanted him to have an easy and carefree life - one without limitations. I wanted to be able to give him whatever his heart desired throughout his future, including the ability to run when other little toddlers at his age could run, or to be able to excel in school just as easily as his typical classmates. I realized that many kids with Down syndrome grow up to achieve their dreams, and nowadays can do practically anything they want if they take the extra time and effort to do so. But why would I want to keep Chase's diagnosis, if I could somehow lift that "burden" for him?
Although I sometimes still feel the sorrow and grief that first accompanied the first days of Chase's diagnosis, I am confident that Chase's life is better with Down syndrome than it would be without. Here is what I know:
- It was God's will for Chase to have that extra 21st chromosome ("For you formed my inmost being. You knit me together in my mother's womb." Ps. 139:13) - God was in control even at the split second when his 21st chromosome triplicated - and the Lord is good, his love endures forever. (Ps. 139:15)
- Despite what I see as hardship, God has great plans to prosper Chase. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jer 29:11)
- Many people like to reiterate that Chase will be a blessing to others, but more than that I know that his diagnosis is somehow a blessing for himself. Romans 8:28-29 says that "all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." We know that all things happen for the glory of God, but also for our good. Chase's life would not be as blessed if we took away his diagnosis which is so integral to who he is and God's purpose within him.
"I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well." Psalm 139:14